Working 9 to 5

It has been over a year since I returned to full time work after having Oliver. I took six months of for maternity and boy did it fly by. I enjoyed every moment and as hard as it was leaving Oliver, I knew I was ready to return to work and get some of the 'old me' back. 

I am the sort of person who can't do anything half-hearted and really do throw myself into whatever I put my mind too. And being a working mum is no exception. I'm really fortunate that I've worked with the same company for the past 12 years so they know I'm committed and have supported me in returning to work. A lot of my other 'mum friends' haven't been as fortunate. 

The hardest part for me returning to work was the added pressure of Oliver having a heart condition (more on this when I can muster up the courage to write about it!) and I am not embarrassed to say this has made me quite an over protective mum. 

I'm really fortunate that my husband and I share Oliver's childcare so we don't have to rely too much on family, nurseries or childminders and the transition of returning to work wasn't too different from our routines. I work the mornings and evenings so Oliver and I get afternoons together. This is great as I don't really feel like I'm missing out on too much. Luckily Oliver is pretty settled in his routine and he knows that mummy leaves first thing for work but will be back in a few hours. I put him to bed and start work again in the evening so he gets a morning with Daddy and an afternoon with Mummy. 

It's inevitable there will be times when I want to commit a little more to work and feel like I'm letting Oliver down or vice versa which is a constant juggling act. 

I've read a few 'mummy blogs' over the past few months, mainly to get some sanity. I started reading a blog by a lady called Ursula who runs Mumbelievable. She tells it like it is, she doesn't hold back at all and has had quite a journey as a mum to her little boy Xav. She shares those real experiences which is so reassuring. 
Ursula and her colleague Donna recently launched an online programme called Returning to Work with Confidence. 
Clearly I don't have enough on my plate already so I decided to join the programme and it is certainly time well spent. The programme is great for giving you that much needed boost. It's online, so once a week when Oliver goes to bed I put my feet up, have a cup of tea, or glass of wine, and watch the video. They're only short sessions, no longer than an hour, with really simple exercises which really just get you thinking. I'm only a few sessions in but the ladies have already helped me think about my perspective of myself as a mum and the internal pressure this brings. I've been thinking about choices and how I make decisions based on my work or my family. Something really important I've started to rediscover is how important time for 'me' really is. Even if it's just 10 minutes on my own or doing my nails, it's something I'm choosing to do for myself and it is so refreshing. Honestly I'm not on commission but if you're in a simialr position i would thoroughly recommend singing up for the programme, it's at such a minimal cost for the resources & support you receive. I'm keen to do the next session already! 

The past year for me has really been finding my way and now I feel ready to not only be a mum but also to get some of my old self back. 

"They all develop in their own time..."

As a mum how many times have you heard the line "They all develop in their own time" but it doesn't help when it's your child not doing said task. 

Oliver has always been quite well developed. He was crawling/walking/running earlier than a lot of children his age. Then we approached the speaking phase...

The art of speaking and developing their vocabulary, I have found, is the hardest. Oliver says a few words here and there but generally he's quite a reserved and internal little boy. He said 'mummy' and 'daddy' early on and has been saying some words but if I do the dreaded thing of comparing him to other children his age he is quite far behind. 

It's something that's been playing on my mind in recent weeks especially when people comment 'he doesn't speak much' and as Oliver showed few signs of extending his vocabulary. I've been doing everything I've read about, lots of role play, talking to him about our days, spending time one on one with him and explaining everything I'm doing but still nothing and it was really getting me down. And yep i know the more tense I get about it the more he will sense this, I'm not good at taking my own advise! 

Then the weekend came, Oliver spent three days with me and my husband and something just seems to have clicked. On Saturday we celebrated my mums birthday, we've had a lot of family birthdays recently and tried to get Oliver to say Happy Birthday to no avail so on Saturday when the birthday cake came out and we all started singing we carried on as normal, until that magical moment. We stop singing and Oliver is giggling and excited because he loves a good song & dance, he then walks away and we hear 'Happy Birthday' as clear as day! He's singing along in the hallway by himself. It brought tears to my eyes. It really was an amazing moment. Since then he's been saying plenty, he's been counting 1,2,3 today and asking for the Planes DVD to go on. 

It just goes to show that when he's feeling happy and settled he will develop more. 

I couldn't be more proud. Today he also played nicely with friends and interacted with them instead of playing side by side. 

Our little babies grow so quickly and this weekend I've seen my baby grow into a proper little boy and I couldn't be prouder! 

So yes they do develop in their own time and no, hearing that doesn't stop you from worrying.