A bad day at the office

I've read on a number of running forums that most runners have a really bad training run before a big event, well mine was today! 

I've been feeling pretty exhausted over the past few weeks from a mixture of worry about results from the hospital, too many early morning runs, arranging fundraising events & generally doing too much with very little down time, so when the alarm went off this morning I just wasn't feeling it.

 

My good friend Dan was texting me about to do his insanity workout & he encouraged me to just go out there & run! 

I got dressed & ready to go feeling much more positive. My training plan wanted a 120 minute run which is a time I've completed a couple of times now so it wasn't like I had to really push myself to the limit - I thought! 

The weather has been horrendous lately with storms & as I run alone the seafront, it's very open to the elements & today's nemesis was wind!! 

We've been battered by these winds for days now & it's getting harder to run in them, today was no exception & worst than any of the other days. I was running into the wind & it might as well have been making me run backwards, it was awful & I used up so much energy just trying to put one foot in front of the other. 

About an hour into the run I became really emotional, all the negative thoughts in my head telling me I couldn't do it and the panic about the marathon being in only 9 weeks had literally hit me like a truck. I just sobbed. 

I kept running but with the wind, the emotion & the pain in my foot (which is always looming) I just couldn't continue. I stopped to catch my breath and stretch out my foot & that seemed to help for a few minutes. 

I decided to start heading for home & the though of a nice warm bath got me through another 30 minutes of very slow running. 

That was me done, 1hour30minutes & I couldn't do another step. It really was the worst run I've done both physically & emotionally. 

I got home feeling very deflated & frustrated with myself. 

It's left me feeling pretty low all day & thinking about what I could have done differently. 

I guess I have to put it down to experience & know that if I've hit a rock bottom run it can only get better. 

I have the osteopath tomorrow so fingers crossed the foot will be fixed & I can get back on it from Tuesday! 

Only 9 weeks to go & I really need to make them count!