The Big Day...

I last posted in May about finding Oliver a nursery and today was the big day! 

After two settling sessions last week, which didn't go too badly, Simon took Oliver to start his 5 hour afternoon session. 

Luckily, for me, I was at work so didn't have to witness Oliver gripping to Simon for dear life! I'm almost certain I'd have wrapped him in my arms and carried him off home. However, he did let go and he lasted the full session which is more than we could have ever hoped. 

Mummy on the other had has spent the past week an emotional wreck - something I'm not apologetic for at all and have since learnt is completely normal and natural. 

Putting your child into any form of childcare is daunting, well it is for the majority of mum's I've spoken with. 

For me the biggest issue was handing my little boy over for 5+ hours a day and not really having a clue what he's doing. Is he eating ok? Do they understand when he's asking for a drink in his own unique way? Is he upset? Does he want mummy cuddles? Is he tired? How will he nap with strangers? All questions I've asked myself pretty much every minute of this afternoon. 

And yet somehow we have got through it. 

In the past 2 years, I've frequently wished I had more toddler free time to get stuff done or to mooch around the shops. That was until today when I found myself aimlessly wondering around the aisles of Tesco just wishing the time away. The house is spotless, I'd caught up with work, had a chat to family, then spoke to a dear friend and still the minutes dragged on. Thank goodness he's only going in one day a week for now, what would I do with myself if it was more frequent!!!! And then 5.30pm struck and I practically skipped to the nursery to collect him.  

The images in my mind of Oliver seeing me then running to be with me were quickly erased when the reality that he'd fallen to sleep on one of the assistants and had just woke up screaming kicked in. He saw me yet was so sleepy he clung to the poor lady who had been looking after him. He didn't want to leave them...queue mummy feeling like rubbish! 

Eventually he realised I was there and made me cuddle him the walk back home. He had missed me after all - phew, he does still need me. 

We cuddled on the sofa for a while until he watched Night Garden and had his normal bath then bed. He was shattered and not surprisingly so, he has had quite the day. 

Enjoying mummy cuddles

This is only ours and Oliver's experience of his first day and something I am constantly banging the drum over recently is that every child is so completely different, and every mother too. 

There is no right or wrong way to deal with any of these life changing moments. The only way is what's right for you and your child. 

So whatever you are feeling about your child going to nursery, pre-school, school or even university, it's OK to be feeling this way. It's also OK for your child to be apprehensive, not all children are desperate to leave the comfort of their familiar surroundings and routines. It doesn't make them any less of a person for being this way - their way! 

All in all I could not be prouder of Oliver today. He is such a creature of habit and he loves a routine so today threw everything he knows in the air and yet he adapted and is still smiling. 

I'm also pretty proud of myself and Simon for bringing him up to be this adaptable and trusting of those we entrust with his care. 

He isn't back at nursery until next Monday so between now and then we will praise him lots about how proud we are of how he has coped and focus on spending quality time with him. 

I'd love to know if your little one has had/or due to have a 1st day this week and how you and they are coping? 

Decisions, Decisions

Probably one of the hardest parts of being parents is all the decisions you have to make for your little people every day. Simon and I have recently been discussing - at length - sending Oliver to nursery. He will be 2 in August and although we manage his care between us alongside our full time jobs, we felt that him starting nursery even for a short time each week would really support his development and social skills. 

Nurseries and finding the right one for your child is a personal choice and only you know if it's the right place and if you trust these 'strangers' with your son or daughters care. Everyone has their own criteria for what they are looking for in a nursery and I'm sure like us, you'll have/had a long list of questions. 

We are extremely lucky that we have a nursery at the top of our road and after lots of research and emails back and forth the three of us went along to check it out for ourselves. 

Oliver practically skipped up the road, although a little reluctant when we first got there he was soon crashing through the rooms, joining the other children doing some colouring and had found a train that he got quite attached too. 
The staff were wonderful, all the children seemed really happy and a few children arrived whilst we were there and they had no issues leaving their parents. All of our questions were answered and they seemed to really understand how we were feeling making this decision. We were delighted and for the first meeting it couldn't have gone better. 

We have decided to start Oliver off at half a day per week for a few months so he can get used to leaving us and having something different in his routine. The nursery, like most, offer a settling in session so Oliver will do two x two hour sessions, one where we stay for a short time then leave for an hour or so and the next when we drop him off and leave for slightly longer. Fingers crossed he enjoys the experience as we just know he will get a lot out of it in the long run. 

Onto the money side of things, we have looked at many nurseries in our area and most of the pricing is around £25-£30 for a half day and £55 upwards for a full day. You can't put a price on your child's care so for me it was more about what can we afford and does this nursery support Oliver's needs. As soon as we walked through the door we knew this offered both. 

I thought I'd put together some of the questions we've asked ourselves recently and might be helpful for you if you're considering nursery now or in the future. 

• How often do we need childcare and how much childcare can we afford? 
• What time of day would work best for your child to be at a nursery? 
• What activities do the nursery offer? 
• How does the nursery monitor the child's development? 
• Are there outside play areas? 
• What routines do the children have during the time at nursery? 
• How many key-workers per child and how many children in a group? 

I'm sure I'll write some more as Oliver has his first day and we settle into this new change to our week. 

I'd love to hear from you if you've been in a similar situation and how you decided on your child's care. 

Working from home...the truth!

I thought it was about time I dispelled some 'working from home' myths as it's something I'm been met with a lot especially since working from home more frequently over the past year. 

For those of you who work from home, I'm sure you will understand where I'm coming from and for those of you who don't and see it as the easy option, please read on and I hope to change your minds. 

I divide my working life pretty much equally between being based in the office and at home. It suits our childcare arrangements with Oliver and works for my organisation too. I am extremely lucky so please don't think I'm moaning about having this opportunity as I really enjoy and am grateful to do what I do. My objection is when I get comments like 'working from home doesn't count as work', 'you're just sitting with your feet up watching TV really' and 'you don't actually work though do you?'. 

Well the answer is yes I do.

I have a desk set up at home exactly the same as I do in the office. The only difference is that I have one eye on the baby monitor when I'm at home and get made a lot less tea! 

I've often been told it takes a certain type of person to be able to manage to work from home and I can absolutely tell you that it is not easy. You have to really switch off. That bit of washing you'd like to do or hoovering that needs doing may be staring you in the face but work is the priority. 

Fortunately I'm pretty good at managing my time. So when Oliver goes to bed I make myself a cup of tea, settle down at my desk and get into work generally for 3-4 hours. I try not to have too many distractions, radio, TV, it's as much like the work environment as I can get. 
I actually find working from home really productive and I would go so far as to say it's more productive, for me, than being in the office. No quick conversations about TOWIE or the latest news story!  

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That said it doesn't come without it's challenges. When working from home during the day I find it particularly hard. Oliver wants my attention or the TV is on, there are lots more distractions and other things I could be doing. My husband, Simon is brilliant at making sure when I'm working he takes care of Oliver and distracts him. It's hard to explain to a toddler that Mummy is working and not to be disturbed but I hope the older he gets the more he will understand thing and appreciate that it means I actually get to spend more quality time with him as a result.  

So for those with the preconception that working from home is the easy route, think again, at least it's not for those who actually work! 

I'd love to hear your thoughts on working from home and how you manage it especially if you're a working parent too. 

Working 9 to 5

It has been over a year since I returned to full time work after having Oliver. I took six months of for maternity and boy did it fly by. I enjoyed every moment and as hard as it was leaving Oliver, I knew I was ready to return to work and get some of the 'old me' back. 

I am the sort of person who can't do anything half-hearted and really do throw myself into whatever I put my mind too. And being a working mum is no exception. I'm really fortunate that I've worked with the same company for the past 12 years so they know I'm committed and have supported me in returning to work. A lot of my other 'mum friends' haven't been as fortunate. 

The hardest part for me returning to work was the added pressure of Oliver having a heart condition (more on this when I can muster up the courage to write about it!) and I am not embarrassed to say this has made me quite an over protective mum. 

I'm really fortunate that my husband and I share Oliver's childcare so we don't have to rely too much on family, nurseries or childminders and the transition of returning to work wasn't too different from our routines. I work the mornings and evenings so Oliver and I get afternoons together. This is great as I don't really feel like I'm missing out on too much. Luckily Oliver is pretty settled in his routine and he knows that mummy leaves first thing for work but will be back in a few hours. I put him to bed and start work again in the evening so he gets a morning with Daddy and an afternoon with Mummy. 

It's inevitable there will be times when I want to commit a little more to work and feel like I'm letting Oliver down or vice versa which is a constant juggling act. 

I've read a few 'mummy blogs' over the past few months, mainly to get some sanity. I started reading a blog by a lady called Ursula who runs Mumbelievable. She tells it like it is, she doesn't hold back at all and has had quite a journey as a mum to her little boy Xav. She shares those real experiences which is so reassuring. 
Ursula and her colleague Donna recently launched an online programme called Returning to Work with Confidence. 
Clearly I don't have enough on my plate already so I decided to join the programme and it is certainly time well spent. The programme is great for giving you that much needed boost. It's online, so once a week when Oliver goes to bed I put my feet up, have a cup of tea, or glass of wine, and watch the video. They're only short sessions, no longer than an hour, with really simple exercises which really just get you thinking. I'm only a few sessions in but the ladies have already helped me think about my perspective of myself as a mum and the internal pressure this brings. I've been thinking about choices and how I make decisions based on my work or my family. Something really important I've started to rediscover is how important time for 'me' really is. Even if it's just 10 minutes on my own or doing my nails, it's something I'm choosing to do for myself and it is so refreshing. Honestly I'm not on commission but if you're in a simialr position i would thoroughly recommend singing up for the programme, it's at such a minimal cost for the resources & support you receive. I'm keen to do the next session already! 

The past year for me has really been finding my way and now I feel ready to not only be a mum but also to get some of my old self back. 

"They all develop in their own time..."

As a mum how many times have you heard the line "They all develop in their own time" but it doesn't help when it's your child not doing said task. 

Oliver has always been quite well developed. He was crawling/walking/running earlier than a lot of children his age. Then we approached the speaking phase...

The art of speaking and developing their vocabulary, I have found, is the hardest. Oliver says a few words here and there but generally he's quite a reserved and internal little boy. He said 'mummy' and 'daddy' early on and has been saying some words but if I do the dreaded thing of comparing him to other children his age he is quite far behind. 

It's something that's been playing on my mind in recent weeks especially when people comment 'he doesn't speak much' and as Oliver showed few signs of extending his vocabulary. I've been doing everything I've read about, lots of role play, talking to him about our days, spending time one on one with him and explaining everything I'm doing but still nothing and it was really getting me down. And yep i know the more tense I get about it the more he will sense this, I'm not good at taking my own advise! 

Then the weekend came, Oliver spent three days with me and my husband and something just seems to have clicked. On Saturday we celebrated my mums birthday, we've had a lot of family birthdays recently and tried to get Oliver to say Happy Birthday to no avail so on Saturday when the birthday cake came out and we all started singing we carried on as normal, until that magical moment. We stop singing and Oliver is giggling and excited because he loves a good song & dance, he then walks away and we hear 'Happy Birthday' as clear as day! He's singing along in the hallway by himself. It brought tears to my eyes. It really was an amazing moment. Since then he's been saying plenty, he's been counting 1,2,3 today and asking for the Planes DVD to go on. 

It just goes to show that when he's feeling happy and settled he will develop more. 

I couldn't be more proud. Today he also played nicely with friends and interacted with them instead of playing side by side. 

Our little babies grow so quickly and this weekend I've seen my baby grow into a proper little boy and I couldn't be prouder! 

So yes they do develop in their own time and no, hearing that doesn't stop you from worrying.  

Off the radar...

What a couple of years. 

Since I lasted posted I've given birth to my beautiful little boy Oliver who is now 19months and quite the handful, had a magical wedding day to Simon, moved into our family home and returned to work full time. It's been quite the 2 years and I'm sure I'll cover some of that in the future on this blog. 

I now feel like it's the right time to get writing again so this blog will now be more focused on the life of a working mum - me! 

There are a lot of blogs out there for mums and I'm not pretending to be anything different but I will write with honesty and from the heart. 
Since becoming a mum I've learnt heaps and hope to share some of my pearls, hard times and very funny moments with anyone who wants to read about it. 

Being a mum is without a doubt one of the hardest but most rewarding things I've ever done, I'd run multiple marathons and find it easier than motherhood but what a journey. 

Now I just need to find the time to actually write....

A Positive Mind

Those of you who read my blog regularly may recall the health struggles I went through about 18 months ago. I was being treated for cervical abnormalities and due to the amount of treatment I received was told that conceiving a baby naturally would be tough and the chances of giving birth naturally at full term would be even slimmer. 

18 months on and 5 months pregnant I went off to the hospital this week to find out how much of my cervix had recovered and the plan for giving birth to Baby. Simon & I had already settled on the fact that we were lucky enough to conceive so quickly, we would probably be told to have an elective c-section. This wouldn't be so bad, as long as baby is happy and healthy afterall.
For me the hospital trip would just be a formality to confirm this. 

Amazingly my scans have all come back clear and my cervix is in really good shape, the scar tissue has healed and my consultant is really pleased with my progress, they thought this type of recovery would take a lot longer especially with the strain now of a baby. 
They're putting this down to me keeping fit and healthy over the past 18 months, well I did run a marathon!! I'm putting it down to a positive outlook on our part, reflexology on a regular basis, some healing and a lot of luck!

So as long as baby plays ball, I will be able to experience giving birth naturally. Some of you may be thinking 'is she mad?', 'why would you want to?', well I suppose it's one of those times when if something is taken away from you, you feel like you're missing out, now I've been given that opportunity back, I want to experience it! 
(Of course come August and going into labour this could be a completely different story!) 

I wanted to share this firstly to give others in a similar position hope of a positive outlook and to show that if you put your mind to something and you work hard then eventually little miracles do happen!