The Big Day...

I last posted in May about finding Oliver a nursery and today was the big day! 

After two settling sessions last week, which didn't go too badly, Simon took Oliver to start his 5 hour afternoon session. 

Luckily, for me, I was at work so didn't have to witness Oliver gripping to Simon for dear life! I'm almost certain I'd have wrapped him in my arms and carried him off home. However, he did let go and he lasted the full session which is more than we could have ever hoped. 

Mummy on the other had has spent the past week an emotional wreck - something I'm not apologetic for at all and have since learnt is completely normal and natural. 

Putting your child into any form of childcare is daunting, well it is for the majority of mum's I've spoken with. 

For me the biggest issue was handing my little boy over for 5+ hours a day and not really having a clue what he's doing. Is he eating ok? Do they understand when he's asking for a drink in his own unique way? Is he upset? Does he want mummy cuddles? Is he tired? How will he nap with strangers? All questions I've asked myself pretty much every minute of this afternoon. 

And yet somehow we have got through it. 

In the past 2 years, I've frequently wished I had more toddler free time to get stuff done or to mooch around the shops. That was until today when I found myself aimlessly wondering around the aisles of Tesco just wishing the time away. The house is spotless, I'd caught up with work, had a chat to family, then spoke to a dear friend and still the minutes dragged on. Thank goodness he's only going in one day a week for now, what would I do with myself if it was more frequent!!!! And then 5.30pm struck and I practically skipped to the nursery to collect him.  

The images in my mind of Oliver seeing me then running to be with me were quickly erased when the reality that he'd fallen to sleep on one of the assistants and had just woke up screaming kicked in. He saw me yet was so sleepy he clung to the poor lady who had been looking after him. He didn't want to leave them...queue mummy feeling like rubbish! 

Eventually he realised I was there and made me cuddle him the walk back home. He had missed me after all - phew, he does still need me. 

We cuddled on the sofa for a while until he watched Night Garden and had his normal bath then bed. He was shattered and not surprisingly so, he has had quite the day. 

Enjoying mummy cuddles

This is only ours and Oliver's experience of his first day and something I am constantly banging the drum over recently is that every child is so completely different, and every mother too. 

There is no right or wrong way to deal with any of these life changing moments. The only way is what's right for you and your child. 

So whatever you are feeling about your child going to nursery, pre-school, school or even university, it's OK to be feeling this way. It's also OK for your child to be apprehensive, not all children are desperate to leave the comfort of their familiar surroundings and routines. It doesn't make them any less of a person for being this way - their way! 

All in all I could not be prouder of Oliver today. He is such a creature of habit and he loves a routine so today threw everything he knows in the air and yet he adapted and is still smiling. 

I'm also pretty proud of myself and Simon for bringing him up to be this adaptable and trusting of those we entrust with his care. 

He isn't back at nursery until next Monday so between now and then we will praise him lots about how proud we are of how he has coped and focus on spending quality time with him. 

I'd love to know if your little one has had/or due to have a 1st day this week and how you and they are coping? 

A Positive Mind

Those of you who read my blog regularly may recall the health struggles I went through about 18 months ago. I was being treated for cervical abnormalities and due to the amount of treatment I received was told that conceiving a baby naturally would be tough and the chances of giving birth naturally at full term would be even slimmer. 

18 months on and 5 months pregnant I went off to the hospital this week to find out how much of my cervix had recovered and the plan for giving birth to Baby. Simon & I had already settled on the fact that we were lucky enough to conceive so quickly, we would probably be told to have an elective c-section. This wouldn't be so bad, as long as baby is happy and healthy afterall.
For me the hospital trip would just be a formality to confirm this. 

Amazingly my scans have all come back clear and my cervix is in really good shape, the scar tissue has healed and my consultant is really pleased with my progress, they thought this type of recovery would take a lot longer especially with the strain now of a baby. 
They're putting this down to me keeping fit and healthy over the past 18 months, well I did run a marathon!! I'm putting it down to a positive outlook on our part, reflexology on a regular basis, some healing and a lot of luck!

So as long as baby plays ball, I will be able to experience giving birth naturally. Some of you may be thinking 'is she mad?', 'why would you want to?', well I suppose it's one of those times when if something is taken away from you, you feel like you're missing out, now I've been given that opportunity back, I want to experience it! 
(Of course come August and going into labour this could be a completely different story!) 

I wanted to share this firstly to give others in a similar position hope of a positive outlook and to show that if you put your mind to something and you work hard then eventually little miracles do happen! 

Second Trimester Heaven

After a very long 3 months of nausea, painful breasts, fatigue, lack of appetite and trying to hide an expanding waistline, I'm now 3 weeks into the second trimester and finally feeling human again. 
The nausea has subsided, I have more energy and I'm so hungry I have to stop myself from eating, don't get me wrong though the painful breasts remain! 

During the first trimester I didn't believe anyone who told me that it'd get easier and I'd be feeling myself soon enough, it just felt like it was never-ending. Now I'm actually on the other side, it's crazy the difference a few weeks makes. My hair is finally less greasy and now 'the secret' is out I can wear whatever clothes I want and not worry too much about my expanding stomach (which is probably smaller than I think but in my head I feel like I'm carrying around a football!). 

I was able to go out at the weekend and be out past 8pm without feeling sick and falling asleep which was a joy and pleased Simon too. We can now finally have a social life back and start planning days out without thinking about the nearest facilities in case I'm unwell or having to make excuses for eating as I couldn't stand the smell or sight of food! 

My family now know what I look like again and I was even able to muster one of my favourite meals last week - mum's home cooked roast!  

Heartburn is my biggest irritant at the moment, oh and my mood swings which I'm sure my family and Simon would agree with. 
My friend Caroline gave me a good tip for heartburn - Love Hearts - so I've been stocking up on those and eating a few after most meals. It absolutely works so even though I've never been a fan, I'd rather that than the constant indigestion.   

Mood swings aren't as bad as I've been led to believe, yet!! Although I'm sure Simon would disagree, the main problem is my short fuse. My colleague and Friend, Gemma can be testament to this. For the most part of this week in the office people have just got on my nerves, no one seems to do their jobs properly and everyone is out to frustrate me. 

Onto the positive, feeling better is a blessing, it means I can look forward to weekends and enjoy time with my friends and family, plus I can enjoy being pregnant. It's such a wonderful time for any women to go through and I'm now going to focus on the positives. 

Marathon Highlights - Chapter 2!

Having slept surprisingly well considering the vast amount of butterflies in my belly I enjoyed my usual breakfast of muesli and fruit. The sick feeling of what was ahead of me for the day hit me as I was getting changed into my running clothes realising that the next time I'd remove the clothes, or peel them off as was more the case, would be after I'd completed the marathon and had that medal around my neck. 

I set off on the tube to Greenwich park where I met Vanessa and we tried to find our starting pen. Nothing could have prepared me for the sheer amount of people there were. 

Ness and I were both really nervous but very excited, the heat wasn't helping our preparations, with that amount of people all in one place added to it seemingly being the hottest day of the year, we were both roasting before we had even started!

As we shuffled towards the start time all the runners started to wish each other Good Luck which felt like being part of one big family. Crossing the start line was really strange, it was quite quiet with people just getting into their zone. The first 7 miles passed in the blink of an eye. Although my pace was much slower than I had hoped we just seemed to be counting down the miles. The support along every step of the route really was amazing and there is nothing better when you're feeling tired than a stranger calling out your name and pushing you on. 

I had a number of supporters along the route and it was just the best to see them, emotions certainly got the better of me and I cried with every set of friends or family I saw. They were mainly decked out in bright orange caps with my nickname - Gingey - printed on them so they were certainly easy to spot! 

The biggest emotional outburst was saved for seeing my Dad, sister, brother-in-law and boyfriend. I was starting to feel really tired at around mile 14 and I hadn't seen them so was feeling a little flat, Ness was really supporting me but she was also carrying a stitch which she was trying to run through so both of us needed to see someone we knew. Then out of nowhere I saw their faces, of course they were all too busy looking at other people so didn't even know it was me until I jumped on them all in tears of joys. This really did give me such a boost though and I just knew after I saw them that I could carry on. 

The biggest cheer of the day definitely came from Auntie Debbie, Uncle Pete and Amelia, I saw them at around mile 20/21 so on the 'Home-straight' but was really struggling to keep my legs moving especially with cramp in my left groin. They gave the final boost that I needed for that final moment. 

The final 4 miles were without a doubt the worst for me, Ness has got her mo-jo back so practically dragged me along with her. Having said that two of my favourite moments were in the last few miles. Firstly, a pub by Tower Hill started playing one of my favourite songs 'Sex on Fire' so Ness and I were running along singing and really geeing up the crowd. Then just before Mile 25 there was a tunnel where no supporters could go, it was playing out really loud music and all the runners sang along to 'Happy' clapping along to all the good bits and seeing lots of motivational messages on balloons. What a moment! 

Big Ben was in sight and we knew when we got there we'd just cruise on through. One final sight of my supporters and giant cheers and that was it, Ness and I sang, danced and ran our way to the finish line. Nothing could prepare me for the feeling as I came past Buckingham Palace and down the Mall to see the finish line. 

In (a slightly disappointing) 05:45:30 I completed the Virgin London Marathon 2014 and I'd achieved something that most people never would or could. I was completely exhausted, drained and emotional and at the same time or a massive high but I had that medal and I'd done it! 

23 days to go!

I decided this morning to donate another £26.20 to my fundraising as I felt really positive on my run this morning & pushed myself with my pace too. I was also nominated by a friend for a 'no make up selfie' which women are doing to raise funds for CRUK so this was for my donation towards that also. 

When I went along to my donations page a few things struck me...

Only 23 days to go!!

This really stood out for me this morning, it's no time at all & I remember when it was 123 days! Time really does fly! I'm almost a little sad that in 24 days time this journey will be over. 

Over £4000!!

The amount of money that people have kindly donated is just wonderful. It still amazes & humbles me that my friends, family and even people I've never met have been so generous. 

Although I'm still £1000 off target, I'm really looking forward to the final push for fundraising over the next 3 weeks & with every donation that comes in, it really does make me feel great & motivate me to run longer & faster. 

Thank you again to everyone who continues to support me. I don't know how I'd do it without you all. 

20 mile run on the agenda for Saturday then it's all downhill for a few weeks of tapering & resting before the big day! 

x

Today's Mantra

More waiting, more worry

After another 4 weeks of waiting on results I finally heard from the hospital on Friday. It wasn't the news I was hoping for. My case has been referred again to the board of consultants & they'll be discussing my results at their monthly meeting on Thursday. It's an odd feeling knowing that something is out of your hands & that whilst you're sat at work going about my daily routine there are strangers in a room at Southend Hospital discussing what will be happening for my imminent future. 
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't really worried and hadn't had a few sleepless nights in recent days plus I'm letting the slightest thing get on top of me. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm in really good hands & I that I'm actually very lucky. 

Onwards to the marathon training & with my fundraising now being over £3200 every pound that comes in really does spur me on. So anyone who may be reading this who has donated, thank you, it means so much to me & the charities. 

Touch wood my foot injury is now starting to ease off a little & after doing as I've been told and getting back into the training slowly, I'm now starting to get back on track. Tomorrow I'm aiming for 75 minutes as a short run & if I can accomplish that without stopping or having any pain in the foot then I'll be delighted & really feel like the marathon can be achieved! I'll have my full running confidence back. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I took a bit of a break over Christmas & New Year from posting, instead focusing on spending time with my family and friends. It was a really lovely time & reminded me once again how lucky I am to have such great people around me. 

One thing I didn't take a break from though was training! 

I've been hard at it and upping my times and distances each week, I even ran on Christmas Day!! It was actually really refreshing to be out nice and early on Christmas morning and meant I was feeling really good (if a little achy) even after stuffing my face with all the usual festive treats. This Christmas was a first for me too, I actually lost weight instead of putting it on. It's all the training, it just seems to fall off, I suppose it's my metabolism.

I've decided to do a different training plan now which fits better for me, it was suggested by Cancer Research UK. I'm now running 4/5 times a week and giving myself a few rest days. This is really working for me as I now feel like I'm actually getting somewhere and giving my body a well deserved rest. 

I'm up to 90 minutes of running on my longest day now which feels so rewarding, I never thought I'd be able to comfortably run for 30 minutes let alone 90 so this is really giving me the boost I need to keep it going. 

With only 96 days until the London Marathon the challenge I've taken on is starting to really kick but I'm still as motivated as ever & am definitely already in better shape than I've ever been. 

So although it's a new year, the training continues, the commitment continues & thanks to some great support, the donations have continued to roll in for my chosen charities! 

2014 - The year I run the London Marathon! 

All Systems GO!!

I got home last night to an amazing letter from Cancer Research UK congratulating me on being accepted for a Charity Bond London Marathon 2014 place through then!! 



After being really emotional and excited for the whole evening, I'm still beaming from ear-to-ear! I just can't believe that after all these months of waiting, I've got my place. I'm also counting myself very lucky as I know hundreds of people apply for these places every year and to be accepted on my first try is really quite something. 

My intention is that unless I receive an offer of a place from Jo's Trust or the public ballot, I will accept this place & raise as much money as I can for CRUK whilst also giving a percentage of the total amount to Jo's. Should I be selected for Jo's, I'll probably be delirious and to honour CRUK's commitment to me I'll reverse this and give a percentage of the Jo's money raised to them. Sound fair?

Thank you for all the messages of congratulations that I've received so far. It's going to be a long road ahead but I'm mentally ready to take on the challenge & I just can't wait to get going. 

Any tips or advise that you can share on your marathon experiences would be very much welcomed. I've already received a lot of great advise from previous runners which I am sure will stand me in good stead of the coming months of training. With plenty of hard work and determination, I'm ready to take on this challenge & cross that finish line having raised a lot of money for great causes. 

Some good news at last

After vowing to get fit & healthy after a procedure earlier this year to remove part of my cervix, I've been working my socks off! The running is going well (bar the latest injury), my diet is much cleaner, I've lost some weight & am mentally feeling much better. 

I would thoroughly recommend this to anyone but especially someone who is going through any health problems. Healthy mind, healthy body is what they say isn't it? 

I recently had more cell samples taken for my cervical abnormalities & I'm pleased to say there is no change (as I've had to explain to a number of friends & family, this is good news!)

Providing that some blood tests I've had taken come back as fine then I should be ok to have another bit of time off the hospital & have the cells checked again in a few months. 

At the moment this really is the best outcome. Unfortunately, this may continue like this for some time but in my eyes the healthier I get then the least likely these cells are to develop. 

So having now turned 30 & enjoyed lots of celebrations with my friends & family, it's hopefully a happy & healthy few months ahead for me! And every time I'm feeling down, I just have to read through my blog to motivate me once again & look how far I've come!

Onwards & upwards as they say! 

(Unsure of who 'they' are I keep referring too but it's all true!)